Monday, February 24, 2014

"I Know Girls" by Daesha Smith

I know girls searching for love under the belt buckles of guys who just called them beautiful
Or cute, and go mute when the pursuit of the same type of guy yields the same result
Scrubbing the scent of cologne out of their pores
Those are girls with legs open like they're hoping to be diapered, held, and called baby
In that order, on the border of being a stereotype and a statistic
Because it's 2013 and they say monogamy isn't realistic
They're quick to blame their dads, he never showed affection
So they have to get it where it can be gotten
I know girls who don't even know they're one empty condom rapper away from being forgotten
I mean those curves are great baby but they'll never stop making hourglasses
Because we as human beings need time to remind us
Whether our glory days are in front or behind us

I know girls searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle
Whose only message is "drink responsibly"
There's no ship in there, just a fiery sea that sloshes in their bellies
Burning the wounds of demons desperate to escape their Alcatraz
Those are girls who claim there's only boredom in being sober, gripe about their hangover
And swear they'll never drink again, that's of course until the aspirin kicks in
Then they're back to distraction, my curiosity kicks in and I wonder what's worse
Those who do it so they don't think, or the ones that do it so they don't feel

I know girls with an alabaster box for a smile
Their deepest secret tucked safely behind their twelve year old molars
They got ambition under the tongues along with the memory of their first kiss
They got white picket fence dreams to make up for what they miss
They got cracks in the family portrait that you'll never see
Because they won't let you close enough
The secret service ain't got a damn thing on the guards these girls have up
Bricks made of fear of disappointment, cemented together with empty promises
The saying goes, "If you build it, they will come"
But they're not looking for someone to care enough to tear it down
Just for someone to care enough to guard with them

I know girls who are equal parts notice me and please don't look at me
Drawer full of sweatpants and hair ties, counter full of products to cover face and eyes
A magazine cover for motherly advice and a lustful eye for male validation
Those are girls with diet pills and workout dvds discarded for snack cakes and milkshakes
Eaten in private to discourage judgment
They spend their lives cycling and spinning through media motivated insanity
I don't know if calling them beautiful boosts their self esteem or encourages their vanity
So I say nothing

I know girls with fake smiles, I know girls who cry themselves to sleep
I know girls with the soul of a poet, I know girls who think they're lions but are actually sheep
I know size sixteen girls with more confidence than girls with a double zero
I know girls with scars from cutting, I know girls afraid to get married
I know girls who feel like they're nothing, I know girls who are faithful
I know girls who play games, and if you ever even start to think that we're all the same
Then you obviously don't know girls

Thursday, February 20, 2014

eight forty-five pm

I fear growing old without someone to love. Reaching the end and realizing that I am alone—another birthday passes and I have no one to share my year with; a walk in the park or a meal at a restaurant with myself for company; days that fade into nights that fade into days, and all along I am in the presence of absence. Expired romance, haunting memories, and the lingering nostalgic scent of past lovers and forever moments.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014